The Baby Goats Are Here !!!! Finally From One Goat

These are all the anmails on the ranch well that dosnt include dogs cats birds turtles and fish
WE are now waiting on Glenda Suie to have her kids...were hoping it is real soon cause ED and I are taking a trip to Az and Ca ...Ca because my MOm is to sick and we dont know how long she has and AZ to go pick up my Dads stuff (he passed 2 years ago July ) I will do anthor post with the other babys then I will do a jounal before we leave for our trip I just wanted you all to see the joy that is bouncing out of me I mean come on look at those babys look at Bella and how much she has grown life on the ranch is PERFECT for me
Pitas Out
Oh the baby names are Lil Boy Lost and NeNea Moms Name is Peggy Sue Glenda Suie is the one were waiting on babys from Nina is the pig and Buddy is the babys Daddy

Angel Diane

Diane
How I miss you and how things are not the same with out you ...somehow I lost my zest for life I feel I fail you and cancer defeated me not only with you but with Daddy Don too ...Oh I know there are lots shaking thier heads saying how long will it take to bang into Pitas head that its not her fault ? well honestly iy dosnt matter cause that is the way I feel from day you took flight ...you and I had lots of plans lots of things we were going to do lots of things that we did do too ...How I wish we could of got a RV and went travling around the world ...How I wish we didnt have to deal with drama from the same people who give me drama and tell me that it is my fault that you died or that its my fault I kept you away from them ...stuiped ass people should know by now that no one could tell you what to do let alone how to do it ...your spirit was to strong and yes Diane you are BULL HEADED
Ive been doing alot of thinking latky and there are some memorys that just make me laugh and others that make me cry and then still other memorys that can still make me sick to my stomic ...it my have been 4 years but Diane I can rember your smell (Thanks to the perfume I have of yours ) I can rember your kirky attuide and I can rember the depth to your eyes I rember your voice and your heart I rember almost every lil detail about you ...and I never want to forget them details either
I bet you Eva will spit out her coffee on this one ...rember it was me you and Eva going for your chemo ...I do belive it was Evas frist time to Kansas ..and frist time to a Chemo ...well you and I were set with the nurses and Dr Khun lol I rember us telling Eva what a good looking man your docter was ...so when he walked in we asked him to bend over so that we could see his ass ...I can rember the 3 shades of PURPLE not red that Eva got ...she couldnt belive that you or I would ask your cancer docter to bend over ...to this day I dont understand why we wouldnt want to check Dr Khuns ass out (By the way ladies you can ask Eva Dis docter had the ass!!)
I also rember we were in the hospital oh I dont rember how long it was this time we spent so much time in the hospital toghter ..but you were getting ansy and didnt want to go out in a wheel chair ...so I got all your lines and you on top of the IV Pole (You were only 90 some pounds) and I took you out ...frist we started slowly then there was no holding us back we both had hospital fever we started doing tricks and wheelies (yes you can on a IV Pole ) we went down hills all over the hospital ...we were free (well as free as we could be at that time ) we were doing what we wanted to not what the docters or nurses wanted us to do ..at that time it was the only joy that we had in that hospital stay
I rember the wheelchair races as well how I would push you as fast as we could go and the wind running through our hair the smile on our faces and the laughter in our hearts ...then are the times that mean so much to me ..you and me making the best out of the cancer situation that we could ...we were always joking and laughing when you were well enough .. but there were scarey times too times I thought that I was losing you or times you were so sick I couldnt help you I needed help ...those are times that put a pit in my stomic and a hurtin on my heart ...those are the times that I truly feel defeated with you cancer
Di I miss all your docters and nurses too cancer sucks shit but let me tell you that I want to be in that world ...everyone loves everyone cares everyone works toghter to get where we need to be there is no judging there are no snickers there is so much support care and love that it makes the REAL WORLD seem lacking in so meany ways you know ? Just to jump in and work side by side with everyone would do for me (if only for an hour) how is it so that I miss this part of my life and treasure it so Di ?
I wish we could talk ...I have so much to talk to you about ...I need your out look and your opipon on things that are going on ...I need your insight I have been basically hiding not talking to no one not wanting to talk ...how did you get into my heart this way???? How is it that I have damn good friends but no one measures up to you ? How is it that I have a sister ( that I cant stand) but consider you my sosta from anthor mother ??? How is it that you got Daddy Don with you and I am left on this earth with out the 2 most infulental people in my life living it up in the streets of heaven ? Why did I get stuck down here with out you two here ( Its so unfair ) I know my days are numbered but what if I told you that I wish my number was up ....no I aint going to do anything to hurt myself I just want to see you !!!! Greedy I know but truly the way I feel !!! I have WONDERFUL friends that keep me grounded but Di they arnt you ..dose that make any sence ...
Di how was your valentines day ? mine was ok but I couldnt get you out of my mind ...I was working the Ranch and got tired and sat down with the goats wondering if you would be willing them to have thier babbies ...wondering if you would be telling me witch baby goat you wanted ? My mind drifted to all sorts of places and before I knew it Lady Di I was crying no sobbing ...the cancer taking you is so unfair ...it took you from all of us your family your girls and your grandbabies so so unfair ..you should be here ...but while I was with the goats crying I felt a lil whisp of air brush past me and I knew it was your butterfly kisses you promissed me...I FELT YOU !!!! I COULD SMELL YOU OVER THE GOATS !! it was as if you were wiping those tears away cause they wernt needed (as far as you would see )
Later on today I am going to be sending you some balloons to heaven you be looking for them OK they are two hearts ...it symbolizes my heart and yours the balloons will be tied together and hopfully arive to you togther ...I know youll like them thats forsure and thats all that matters to me
Even after 4 years your still freash in my memory and your thought of everyday Lady Di ...I try to keep your memory alive with in my life (Dont care about others that are nothing but problems to me ) today you left 4 years ago ...4 years ago my heart shattered and never has been the same ...nothing is the same nothing will ever be the same your not here
To all Diane Fans I would love your memorys of Diane and how she touched your life or changed you ..if you so feel inclined to send balloons send them to Daine she will love them and probelly share with the rest of our angels (Thats just her you had to really know Diane )
The other journal I wrote that you cant see right click your mouse and selet all and youll be able to read that post as well
Diane I love you forever Mostest and BESTEST you truly have changed me and my life for the better
Your Loving Pita
Missing you so much
Happy Angelversy Day I know you and Daddy will be celebrating !!!!! Can you give Daddy a big ol hug from me and tell him I miss him more then words can say

To all who read this blog I am waiting on my goats to have thier kids then I will blog on that until then here are some feelings from my heart

Pitas Out

Thoughts For Dad In Heaven

Good Morning Daddy

Boy there are alot of things going on ...frist I want to tell you that Ed and I are leaving for Az and Ca to see our familys

The reason to go to Ca is that Mom has been having a hard time with her heart and liver (Moms in the hospital right now )

To be honest Dad I dont know how much longer Moms heart is going to hold out much less her liver ...we all thought she was doing pretty good and Mom ended up in the ER Saterday night ....

Dad I am scared so scared for not only Mom but for me as well I am in no way ready to be parentless ...

Ed and I were going to go just to see Momma Shirley and Cutie Pie but Ed was like Racquell were going to be so close we dont stop in and see your Mom and somthing happens youll never forgive yourself and he is right ...Ed is alot like you in your thinking ...hes right just like you were always right if I wanted to believe it or not ...no wonder I am so deeply in love with Ed ...you were right you couldnt of picked a better man for me :)

I cant wait to go see Momma Shirley ...even after all this time that you have been gone Dad I have kept in touch with Momma Shirley and Don and made sure that they know that I love them ...I even talk to Cutie Pie on the phone Daddy she is so smart and has so meany of your triats ...she even has her desk that set by your desk and everything is the same as it was while you were here with us

I was talking to Cutie Pie about the goats havong thier babbies and Cutie Pie wanted me to bring them I told her that I couldnt cause they would Poopoo to much ...she idmedity tells Momma Shirley that I cant bring the goats cause they poopoo to much ...I about died Momma Shirley and I laughed so hard ...Dad to be honest that is the frist time I heard Momma Shirley belly laugh since you have flown off to heaven ...it tickeled me thats for sure more ways then you will ever know

Ed and I are leaving the 6th of March and we might be gone almost 2 weeks ...not only do we need to get out to family but Dad I need to breath

Dianes angelversy is coming up and it is a STINER I never knew how close Diane and I were ....we were very close and to know her angelversy and her favorite holiday is sneeking up on me Daddy is just a big ol hurt that I try to hide from I cant find good memorys to cover the hurt of my heart ...can you tell her that I miss her

I just wanted to touch base with you and drop my feelings and heart off (Didnt I always do that when you were here with us ) your the one who would give me the truth if I wanted to hear it or not and you would make sure that I got the point and understood ...I dont understand anything or the hurt or how I can stop longing to be with you and Diane Grandma and Uncle Keith and Grandpa ...dang thats almost our whole family I am feeling jipped and very sad I cant shake it ....thats why this trip is so very important to me ...

The only thing I wish is that you would be sitting at your desk doing work when I walked in the door ....I know its not going to happen but that is what I want to see and I want to feel your big teddybear hugs around my waist

Daddy I love you miss you wish you were here and need you more then you know

All My Love

Your Loving Daughter

Racquell

(Pita)

Lil TidBits Here And There Along With Everywhere

Here is Bella she is 3 months old and is a real spit fire ...she is a mess and has a attidue to go with her lil self ...she has been a joy to have and she keeps a smile on my face ...I never knew I could love a DOG the way that I love Bella
Bella is almost potty trianed not with #2 I dont think she knows that its also a form of going potty ..Bella can almost jump on the couch and she jumps and literlly runs all over the other dog but not my cats heehee I guess them claws hurt
The other night we ordered her a PET CRIB oh yes I stinking did ...when I get it I am going to repaint it and put Princess Bella and also make her crib into a princess bed ...no I dont spoil my anmails at all
Bella has grown ALOT and she has found her voice her lil bark is so sweet I always smile when I here it ...she is still not sleeping all night long ..its about 3 or 4 that she wakes me up and I come out to the couch to let my Hubby sleep ...she runs around eats and goes back to sleep ...its not much help to me cause I cant go back to sleep silly Bella
Ive had to start putting Tard my old man dog hes 12 in our room and put bay gates up cause he wants no part of Bella and is very grumpy ...I know he would bite her so I have to keep a good eye on them


The other Pic is Shades ...he was brought to me in a very special way ...you see Ill tell you a story ...My Dad that passed had a lassa and I fell in love with his dogs an I always wanted one ...so Dad told me for my birthday that he was going to get me a Lassa ..well he found out that he had cancer and the dog took a back seat for all we wanted to do was get him better and in remission ....well that wasnt to be for the cancer took Dad he passed in July ...then in Oct when my birthday is like 5 days before one of my friends asks me if I want a abused dig that had been run over (But was fine ) I was told Shades was a LIl dog ...so me always wanting a lil dog didnt say anything I already had 4 dogs at home ...Chris brought Shades in and Shades makes a beelinf to my lap and refuses to leave it ...now realixe Shades was in Horrid codition when we got him it took me 5 baths just to get him not to stink and anthor 3 with cinditioner to comb him out ...but as I was washing him I noticed that Shades looked like Daddys dog Sparky ...I knew then that Shades was sent to me by my Dad from heaven he was keeping his Birthday promiss ro me he had got me my dog ...I dress Shades and Bella I Groom Shades (Am still learning to groom him ) I take him and Bella with me when I can ...they are my chidren only with four legs you know ????
I am quite the anmail person ..I dont know if it is cause I cant have children or if its cause I can see thier souls through thier eyes ..either way I dont have any plans of getting rid of any of my anmails
I am Sad today too ...let me back up ...Ill fill you in on some history with my husband and I ....my husband and I raced at I 70 Speedway and we raced for a cause and brought money and awarness to a very number of things cancer blindness MS Caringbridge ..hugs and hope and we featured children who have cancer as our very own Pit Crew ...the kids got to make deccisions with the race truck and events that we did ... one of our Pit Crew was Zack F and this lil man made up the saying cancer sucks witch we proudly displayed on the back of our Race Truck ....it helped keep oir drive going ..well a couple days ago Zack grew wings and flew off to be with the other angels in heaven ...To be honest Zack hit me hard hard Zack fought nurablastoma for 9 stinking years 9 flippen years and beat it !!!! Then a couple months back he told his parents that his cancer had come back ...and yes my friends it came back like a frieght trian it was unstopable it just took over to a point cause Zack has his own way of doing things and he left this earth on his own terms .. I am saddened casue Zack was the one that made it it didnt matter what was thrown at him he always beat the odds ....this time he didnt ...I cant even imange how his parents feel or how thier world has been rocked ...nothing is the same they lost thier son .....its uncomprehenable to even know thier pain ....
could you go to Zacks and leave your thoughts or prayers www.caringbridge.org/fl/ZackeryFinestone I would really apparate it and I know his family needs all the support that they can get
Did you all know that Ed and I by summer will be looking to foster a child not only foster but adopt if possable ...we looked into adoption and it is very coastly and honestly I dont think a price should be put on any chids head for any reason expecally the prices that are put on these buitful children ....ya thats my oppion and isnt it great that we all are diffrent ....it somthing that is great that we are all diffrent ...could you imange a world with a million trillion yous ? I couldnt
Im also upset with my roommate he isnt helping in the house he needs a LIVER TRAZPLANT and I go to all the docters with him ask qustions and help with whatever I can ...well were both overweight and we had a pack since he has to lose weight I would walk step for step with him ...I just got back from Saint Louis for his LIver Tranzplant Team and we discuessed how we were going to diet to gether and go to the gym and work out ...well he got home from Saint Louis and told his family and they have been taking him to the gym (The gym ) these are people that dont have time wont help with the Liver docters or nothing but they take him to the gym and leave me out to say I am livid is byond the fact ...so today I am going to tell him he needs to have them go to the docters and care for him when he has the Liver Tranzplant cause I am not going to when he lies and plays games with me ...it may sound mean and I dont care but I wont be used ...he told me well for 78 a month you can get Ed ma and you in ....ummmmm excuse me ...you dont want to buy a mebership but you want me too when he wount even take me to the gym as we have planed ummmmm NOT on his life will I buy a membership for him PERIOD I didnt do the drugs to mess my liver up why should he hold me up ?
I am a PCA and a Darn good one at that and I wont be played fooled or used in anyway PERIOD he broke the pack unless he fixes it then I am out ...sounds mean yes but when you been a PCA for the last 10 or 12 years you know a user when you see one ...I mean we moved him into our house to care for him and he dosnt help with NOTHING he gets up and eats then sleeps then once in a while hell go to work grrrrr I didnt realize I was so angry with him
I am Bi Polar so maybe that is why this whole thing seems to get my goat
Plus Zack growing his wings it just seems alot is on my plate ...
At least I am able to talk to my husband ...hes my life saver in more then one way in April we will be married for 18 years thats a long time but I couldnt imange being with anyone else My hubby has been my rock through it all he never fails me and loves me like no other could
Ok thats about it I will be coming back more !!!!! Promiss and I will share pics of my goats and pot bellied pig next time
Pitas Out

Well heres Lil Bella she is a Mini Doberman Pincher ...she is full of life and alot sassy not to mention she has sharp puppy teeth
I took a pic of her yesterday and she is no bigger then a regular remote for a TV lol ...this lil girl brings me so much joy and so much love its not funny ...My husband got her for me for Christmas ...now I can dress her all up and carry her in her bed She always get peoples eyes and then talking about her asking to pet her ...I am rather funny about people toiuching my puppy and dont let the kids plau with her at all Im afraid they will drop her

But thats not why I am here today I am here cause my heart hurts and my feelings are even worse off
I got up this am to a email from a sister that I dont get along with telling me how she is glad I am not coming and how everyone in my family hates me ...before I go to far into this let me tell you this is the sister that is a drink and ran out on my Mom while she was SICK almost dieing ...the is also the sister who my parents had to adopt her child when she was 15 cause she was hooked on HERION ..I usally dont put things out about my family cause I find it persoanal and I am very ASHAMED of my family
Anyways this sister went on and on on what a bad person I am ....I dont know if it is cause I am run down from Christmas or if it is cause I want my family to love me and want to spend time with me I just dont know ...all I know is for Christmas I wouldnt be doing anything to hurt anyone hell I wouldnt do nothing to hurt anyone now PERIOD
I am a In Hime Care Taker/ House Keeper and I have had the same clients for years I work for myself and have a wide varity of anmails from dogs to goats to cats to gunnie pigs to turtles and a bird
Truly I spendf my life and time trying to make others happy and see the smiles on thier face ...
So to be slapped with the email from my sister before my coffee ley alone wipe the sleep from my eyes is just alil bit harsh and hard to swollow
I have never got along with this sister she treats me as if she can control me then when she knows she cant and I still have a smile on my face things get harder
My Docter upped my meds cause things just seem impossable for me right now ...it is Christmas time for love fun family and laughter and my heart is broken and I am so sad right now - yes I know it is part of the Bi Polar but it dosnt make it any easier
Its almost a perfect Christmass here ...the snow is begining to fall and the house is all warm and snug from the wood stove I am to srart my baking and I just dont have it in me cause of the mean hateful things that my sister spewed out in a email to me ,,,you know I dont wish her no harm at all I just wish she take her drunk ass and lay it on someone else I mean what is it going to prove I am 1500 miles away from there (and plan on staying that way )
Pitas Out

Miss Bella The Princess

This is my Christmass Puppy that Ed is getting me cause I was pushed into giving my sister in law one of my dogs ...Ed knew how heartbroke I was and how the things that played out hurt my feelings
You see I cant have kids and I always wanted a lil girl puppy that I could take everywhere with me and dress her ...no by no ways is she a Baby well yes she is a baby but not human but on the 14 when I bring her home I will be bottle feeding her and spoon feeding her ....I feel that I have enough love for all my anmails !!!!
I will show you all pics when I bring this lil one home ....do you know that I feel like a frist time Mom with Bella
Amazing How Bella Makes Me Feel
Pita Out

La Bella Bella For Short Please

I do not have a pic of LaBella (Bella) for short I am going to put a down payment on her this morning and I will have pics of her when I get home later this evening .Now Bella is Yorkie and Chuacha she will be 4 weeks old on the 14th when I will pick her up andf start bottle feeding her and molding her into the puppy that I want
For Ed letting me get Bella we are getting rid of the gunnie pigs and the hamsters well I am keeping one gunniepig who is pregnate
Ed realized how hurt and heartbroken I am and how him and his brother bullied me into giving my other dog away ...so we talked about it (Finally) and decided that if I got a dog it would have to be a lil girl and very small
So now i am waiting for the owners to get up so that I can get directions to thier house
I am so excited I cant stand myself a real baby well not baby but puppy I am very good with anmails so it will just be grand
I will post pics when I get home
Pitas Out