Friday, December 31, 2010

Kandi Camel & D'eago a& Gizmo

This is my boss your heart by Lorraine Patterson about Princess Chrissie and her heart surgery before she passed and how she was able to boss her heart !!!! If you havnt read the book I am telling you this is the book to read you can learn or order a book at I hope you do go and buy a book and I hope our princess brings you closer to god and may all the glory go to god !

here is the sunset out of Kansas that I saw last night ...awosme the gifts god gives my heart to see

This is D'eago Angelo ...he is the newest addition to the Ranch he is 4 months old and I am so in love with him it is not funny

this is Kandi Kamels baby Mircle ...Mircle didnt make it neither did Kandi Kamel I lost Mircle and alil boy and anthor girl this just flippen sucked and I am not over it ! I dont think I ever will be

Im Kissing Mircle see you later on the other side :( it has been a hard few days ) here on the Ranch I have more to tell but I am tired and just wanted to get the pics out
Gizmo is going home with Debi she is going to keep her cause my dogs are mean to her and I cant have that

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

We Have Saved Anthor Of Gods Anmails

This is my dog Shades ...Ive had him for years ...he isnt to happy with Zena

Zena all dressed and bathed after I got her yesterday

Zena is so sweet and didnt/ dosnt deserve to be put down cause her old owner is a bobble headed monster

This is Zena and we got her off criagslist ..the person we got her from was going to take her to the vet and put her down ...I dont know the story only other then this dog has been negleted and abused starved and screamed at

Zena is 9 years old and she is very skinny (not for long Ill change that and make her into a fat pumkin ) you can see how sickly she looks ...

My hubby and I went and saved this lil doll yesterday ...we have enough amnails but to know that Zena was going to be put to sleep just did Eds and my heart in

When I got Zena yesterday she stunk so bad her breath was nasty and she was all full of dried skin on her coat and her ears are a mess

I gave her a bath then anthor one then I brushed her teeth took her out and got her dressed yes I dress my anmails that let me :)

I then fed her ...oh my I have never seen a anmail go after food like this and goggle it down in neno seconds like Zena did .. I was appaled and sickend by the treatment of this dog ....

Zena is to weigh 7 pounds we are lucky to hit 5 pounds right now (soon it wont be a problem ) I have to work on her ears and her coat as well as get the nutrition and fat on her ..Im telling you my hubby saved this dogs life we are supposed to be fostering her well and then finding a good home for her ...I cant get rid of her now at all ..I havnt had her 24 hours yet and this Gizmo (my name for her ) has stolen my heart and my feelings I can not take care of her and not fall in love I can not sleep with her and expect her to be gone one day it kills me to even think of that truly ..

(Gizmo =Zena ) gets along with my other anmails (unless she is eating ) and they get along with her I dont have a problem there ..the cats arnt to sure of her yet but they will get use to her you know ? so I see no reason to get rid of her ...I will let Hubby think he has a Foster Dog for awhile Ill let him fall in love with Gizmo the way that I am and then cry and tell him we cant get rid of her will work has too ..I went and got Gizmo a bed and some cloths and shampoo and all I used christmas money but Gizmo needed these things so I consider it money well spent ..
I will keep this page updated with Gizmo= Zena as the time goes on ..think good thoughts and think hubby needs to fall in love with her so I can keep her
Just a thought what if God is tugging me in a diffrent direction then what I think I need to go ???

Sunday, November 7, 2010


Well Tottie did'nt fair well with her frist pragancy ..she had 2 baby's that wernt fully devolped and they were born sleeping started Friday afternoon (late afternoon ) Tottie was bellowing and hollering and hunching in the goat fashion to be bringing some baby goats on to the Ranch ..I spent most my time with her Friday (till it got to cold for me ) just before I was going to call it a night and go in Tottie delivered her frist sleeping baby (so heart breaking ) she was freaking out ..My husband had to grab the baby and help her deliver it (usally I do all this but being in a 1/2 air cast boot I couldnt get in the birthing center we have set up )
After Tootie had that baby she was worn out but still contracting ..I ran to the house got a old blanket went to the barn got some sweet grain and some whole corn (Totties favorite ) got her some freash cold water ...I set it all up sat with Tottie for alil while and came in ..she so needed to calm down and rest ..Ed and I checked on her before we went to bed ..turned on the heat lamp (just in case she had the other baby in the night )
Ed and I got up and were outside e Tottie in the birthing center when we noticed that she had delivered anthor baby ..this one was smaller and was not devolped ..Oh she was SCREAMING HEART WRENCHING cries looking for those sweet babies ..Oh I cried I heard her heart break I heard the where are my babies cry ..Ed and I decided that she needed to come out of the birthing center ! We let her out she has been all over the yard looking for her babies ..I know this is the way that nature takes its corse and I have been riduclued for caring about these baby goats born sleeping ..I was asked why am I so upset over losing 2 baby goats ..well it is as simple as can be ! Ed and I dont have children (my fault ) and our fur babies are our kids ..with every up and down we have we document it all feel it and go through it with our fur babies just cause they are not kids to them dosnt mean they are not kids to us ..everyone lives loves and thinks diffrent then the next person and that is why the world goes around the way that it dose (my dad always told me everyone has the same tools we just have diffrent tools ) I think that is accurate! Just cause I think that the statement is true dosent I have to want to use the other persons tools you know ?
So Tootie lost the babies it is hard for her as well as us ..for I am going to use my anmails to bring awarness to diffrent causes ..then when I get my BA in 3 1/2 years I will use my anmails as a tool to reach children that are abused have mental disorders or just children that need alil love ..I have grand plans I have a whole world out there that needs alil loving touch you know ? so to lose these babies is a big loss to me one understands my heart my drive ..they cant grasp that this is more then it looks ll of this is done for the betterment of me and others that my anmails will touch in the years to come. It is so hard to explane my heart my drives my wants my needs as well as Lil Totties or my other anmails ..
So today we love on Tootie and keep things going here on the Ranch for the future and my dreams

Monday, November 1, 2010

Catching Up With You

Well well well it has been quite awhile since I have been here to blog land ..I think I kinda shut down for a lil while ..there has been alot that has happened since I last blogged anywhere . Sure I keep up with all my blogs I follow and send happy mail out but that is about it !
I have yet again lost a client to cancer :( T is in the nursing home getting ready to do treatment ( there dosnt seem to be much hope ) I have fallen and really did a number on my ankel it has been 3 months and it is still swollen and hurting real bad ! I dont know if I am going to have to have surgery or not (I will come and let you know ) as of right now I am in a 1/2 boot cast for 6 weeks with a EMG on the 23 to see if there is nerve damage or not ....
Ed (My wonderful hubby ) and I have not went any further with adoption is still talked about (ALOT) but right now it isnt feesable for us ...(its gods time )
Ed has been accepted into College ! Im so proud of him this is HUGE ..he is going for computers and I am waiting on my w-2 to take to college and get my classes I can start my journey to going to school to be a councler :) hopfully it will come in this week :)
Here on the ranch all my girl goats are getting ready to have babies ..Kandy Kamel (her pic is down the line of post ..Chiva being my smallest goat (who is TINY TINY ) and Tootie Mea is alos about to pop (Tootie is Kandis frist baby ) I am over the moon with the goats ...
We lost Lucy our one eyed duck we dont know if she flew off or if a wild anmail got her :( I have been having this one dream over and over again that Lucy flies home to us and all is grand I hope and prey that she is ok ...she is a percious gift of Eds and mine and we can hardly stand her being gone away from us ..but she was also wild (shes a mallard ) and if gods plan is to have her free then that is the way that it is ...even though we miss her lots we both believe that our girl is flying high in gods skys
We also lost Duddy his eye got worse and worse and infection traveled to his brain :( there was nothing that we were able to do the vets dont really care for domisic ducks they rather put them down break your heart and tell you to get anthor ..Ed and I gave Duddy our all but God desided that he needed him in heaven more then we needed him here he went to heaven our heart breaking suprize
We did go get anthor duck .....Dobbie then we resuced a duck from some kids that were running around holding the ducks neck ..her name is Baby ..Dobbie and Baby hooked up toghter and are best friends and hang out in the duck pen together
I have had probelms with my husband family disrepecting me badly very badly but Eds sister sat and wrote Ed a letter so I wrote her back (Ed is in no way close to his family at all ) I told her of all of the happenings on the ranch and what Ed has been doing ..that got me to thinking HARD..if Eds sister sat down to write Ed a letter and tell him what was going on then it was up to me to stand up and do a reply letter to her turn got me thinking about Eds brother and the way that I have let Ed stay away from his brother for my selfish perpouse and gain ..Now Eds brother has said horrable things to me just horrable and I let it keep Ed from his brother . Regaurdless of anything Ed has a brother and Ed chose me there is nothing that either I or the brother could change so I have been pushing Ed I even went to his brothers house ..this is uncharted waters that have burned me before I am not going to just jump into it ..I will not tell him I love him or anything I will support the realtionship of the brothers nothing more ...I do not want to be told I am not a woman nor family I gave no children again I wont set myself up to fail nor will I allow anything to enter my heart on brothers or wifes side ..I mean it was 2 1/2 years that we didnt inner act with them ..I was content but it is not about me it is about realtionships beyond anything is to short to walk around with the grudge in the heart to be happy that a family is broken is wrong so wrong not to step up to fix it would be PATHIC (even when there is so much disrespect that it reeks ) I ask for nothing other then for Ed to be involved in his familys life to soak up thier love and interact ..with the potental to burn I am scared but I must press on push Ed to be in thier lives ....
Couple of months back I went to Vi to travel with a deer friend was a wonderful drive the beatuy from here to Vi is AMAZING (gods gift ) I was so frazzeled to enjoy it fully and I missed out is hard to put all this out for you all to read ...but maybe some one out there is having the same things go on or maybe not may they need to read the trails to see that there lives my be wonky but the next person is muddling through stuff too ...
To tell you what keeps me sane ??? well since I stopped all head meds and deal with Bi Polar head on and my anixty head on ..I have my girl friends come over and we do crafts to send across the miles to our adoption friends our cancer warriors we so lovely support to out CF friends to our blind friends to our MS friends we send every last thing we do to any of them plus our FB pals ...when I am doing for others I feel so full so fufilled .. when us ladies know that our crafts go across the miles and bring smiles it makes everything so worth it ..bonus I get to spend time with ladies that are near and dear to my heart and share the love with them is better then any pill or any doctor out there life there comes a time where you have to grab life by nose and face it head on

Friday, June 11, 2010

Thoughts That Im Pondering

Wow I have made it here again !
I am going to get better at blogging and getting my feelings out ..after all this is my safe haven ! No one knows about this blog (For a reason )
Things have been crazy here on the Ranch (I love living on the ranch ) with the anmials with our friends and with just life . It seems that there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done that needs doing
I have fallen a couple of times and I am in a moon boot with PT getting ready for SURGERY of my ankel ! Believe it or not I am looking forward to this up coming surgery ! I am sick of falling and always hurting myself cause my ankels (yes thats both of them ) roll all the time, so if surgery can stop it then I am game (plus for the pain to stop for real ) The above Pic is of my ankel and how it sits w/o a brace or moon boot ! Its pretty gross looking dont you think ?
Then I had a duck that was attacked by a coon ! Fuddy Duddy Da Buddy Duck ! His eye and mouth were affected in this attack by the coon ! My hubby and I found Duddy the next morning I called all sorts of vets and was told that they dont take care of PEKIN DUCKS and if they did it would be hundreds of dollars so I just might as well put Duddy down (I was told Duddy is a dime a dozen ) I think not and I wouldnt accept that at all. I got smart I called a wild anmail reabilation place talked to a vet (a good one with a heart ) she told me what to do ! So Duddys treatment began !Antibotics (Force fed ) Baby food . sevral times a day ! Baths showers poping of the infected area ! Guess what it worked Duddy was getting better ! It was 2 weeks and Duddy started to go sdown hill he couldnt see he became depressed and he gave up ! His other eye got infected and there was nothing we could do. After bringing him in and kenneling him doing his care and everything I lost Duddy (heart breaking )

I became very depressed I had put everything I had in getting Duddy better and I couldnt stop the process of what was going on with Duddy ! I began to mope around I wouldnt take phone calls I wouldnt even go shopping ( I felt that I failed my duck and there was nothing I could do to shake the feeling of failing ) My wonderful husabnd picked up on how very sad I was and moved into action to make me feel betterYou see my husband knows I have to be taking care of somthing or someone to feel complete so he got on the computer and started looking around for baby ducks .He found this place 100 miles away and took me on a date (I didnt know he was taking me to go get a duck I went but wasnt in it . Hubby just went along with it until we reached the farm ! Once there he told me Ok Pita it is time to cheer you up .were here so that you can pick your own baby duck ! I was so excited not only about the duck but cause my husband knows me and was trying to make the hurt not so bad ! He wasnt replacing Duddy (He couldnt ) he was giving me and my heart anthor baby to take care of :) So we looked at just hatched ducks (I didnt want one they were to small ) then we looked at 1 week olds (they were to small still ) we went to 2 and 3 week olds too .Then I saw my duck running around acting a mess doing things the others were not ! ( I have to have uniqe anmails ) I watched him and watched him .As I watched him I felt that ever present tugging of my heart :) I know that this lil stinker running around and chearping not honking was mine God gave me that sign ! We paid for the duck 5 bucks and left ! I refused to have a box I held DOOBIE all the way home ! I kenneled him in the house (Just so he would become fimuliar with me and hubby ) then Hubby and I made a tempory cage outside for during the day (until DOOBIE feathers out ) Here is a pic of Doobie

Doobie was got not only for me but for our 1 eyed house duck Lucy ! ( you have to understand we let Lucy go during the day in the back yard but she is kenneled in the house at night ) Lucy is a riot she is hubbys duck ! Lucy has her own story and is UNIQUE in her own way ! When we got Lucy we didnt know what sex she was until she started laying eggs ! Once we found out that she was really a girl then we wanted to get a boy friend for her (step up Doobie ) they are both the same type of duck so next year we are hoping maybe to get lil Lucy and Lil Doobies next year ! Ill keep up with the blog with Doobies growing and when the two of them become friends
I will show you a pic of Hubbys duck LucyLast time I blogged I talked of a friend that was in ICU ! It was found out that this friend had a stroke and bleeding anurisum and he was rushed into BRAIN surgery ! I am pleased to report that the friend is home ! He has alot of recovering to do but he is truly a MIRCLE ! His children are taking care of him ! Life goes on and on and that I am thankful for ! I couldnt imange his children losing him (they lost thier Mom to cancer ) I prayed harder then I ever have on the childrens behalf ! A blessing that our friend made it through this ! A Mircle that has been given to us through our friend ! I am telling you Mircles happen every day !

Thats about it right now I have to get ready to go to work and get my day started I also need to take some pics of DOOBIE cause he is starting to get feathers now ..On his lil butt and I want to record everything about him and his growing

Ed and I are still talking adopting ! We are not sure where we are going to turn or how were going to do it (Money Wise ) ! If it is ment to be I do belive that God will show us the way ! All Ed and I know is that we want to give a child our love ! Hubby and I are really leaning towards a down syndrome baby ! We will stay in prayer and follow our gods lead ! If it happens it dose if not then that isnt the plan that God has in store for us !

Ok now I am really leaving ! I hope your day is full of sunshine and BELLY LAUGHS !

Friday, May 21, 2010

Changes In A Blink Of The Eye

Dont you think it is crazy how life changes in a blink of the eye or a neno second ? Yesterday Ed and I learned that a dear friend L had been rushed the the hospital the day prior (he was cooking outside and passed out ). It is later found out that it is serious .so serious L has had brain surgery (Im waiting on results now from L daughter ) Ed and I will be going to the hospital later this evening to be with the family.
Its crazy Ed just talked to L the other day ..and then he is in serious condition and is having brain surgery . Im telling you this has schook me to the core ! It seems that all around us our friends are truly falling ..times seem hard is tight ..bills are do ..repairs need to be made ..the list goes on and on ..I just am wondering when the clif around me is going to stop eroarding away ..when can it feel like everything is in a free fall ! Ill tell you that L is a good friend has been for years and for this to happen is devasating to me as a whole ! I want to run and help his children (they already lost thier Mom to cancer a couple years back ) I cant imange how they are feeling or what they are feeling (they watched and took care of thier mom until she became a angel ) my heart bleeds and my tears over flow. How do I help those kids ? how do I make things better then they are for them right now ? How do I give them strenth when I feel so weak ? How dose is all this going to turn out ? My mind wonders to places it shouldnt be . My heart hurts deep inside DEEP? All this seems so sencless and has so much heart ake mind blowing Im telling you .Yes I pray you better belive it ..but there has to be more there has to be somthing that Ed and I can help with but we cant find it ..I didnt sleep well last night my minds been racing and Im just tore up .
I have told aone person (my best freind ) . I know I am safe here no one reads this blog and no one knows who L is so I can talk . Its so hard to think about as well as write about . O know one thing I want L to be alright ..I want those children to have their only living parent ..I want our friend to be there ... I want to be there to encourge L and his children ...I want to have open arms for his hurting children ...I want alot that has nothing to do with me ..Ill do anything and what god insturcts my heart to do ..Its just so hard and gut wrenching ! L has 5 kids for 16 to 23 this is what keeps laying on my heart ...I dont understand any of this and am asking why these kids have to go through the life changing events that have endured..I have to admit I am scared of what the out come will be ..I almost want to hide from it you know? Then on the other hand I know how strong L is and how he LOVES his children .L is a fighter so I Belive in L and his strenth

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Im Back

Wow its been awhile since I last wrote on my blog my goat Kandi Kamel has had her own baby (Tootie) since I was last here wow thats along time
I think I havnt wrote on my blog in so long is I have been sooo sooo busy I know thats not a excuse either. There have been alot of things that have happened on the Ranch some good some really really bad but I have made it through all of that
My Mom is doing WONDERFUL the doctor finally found out that it was her liver that was causing all the problems thats good ! Im proud of my Mom to be Honest with you ! My lil brother and his wife are getting ready to have anthor baby (A lil Girl ) I have been working on a special blanket for her !
Ed my Hubby got me a Rabbit for Easter I chose to name him Snickers (I love love love anmails )
Snickers is very spoiled I mean so much so that he has a baby play pen so that he can get out of his cage and have room to hop run and play he is a hoot let me tell you
I tried to upload a pic of Snickers but it wouldnt let me
Ed and I just celebrated our 18 wedding anniversy this last April ! I can tell you that I am a spoiled lady Ed makes sure of that
Here latly we both have been getting the we need to be parents we need to open our heart and our minds and home to a child that is so needs to be loved . To be honest I dont know where this is going to take Ed and I .I know we wont become foster parents ever again with that I know that Ed and I would make good parents and have a loving home to raise a child wether it be a baby toddler or what have you but what I do know is that there is a desire in our hearts for a child like never before
I know that adoption is very expensive but I know that if it is gods will and not mine things will come toghter in his time ..I choose to watch the path be laid out before Ed and I
There has been some really big things happen here on the ranch .For one I am off the Lithum for my Bi Polor ! Is it easy NOPE not at all ! Is it worth being free of those horrable drugs that controled me and my life You BET ! I have learned diffrent things to calm myself and rid myself of the stress ! I am still in councling I do belive that I am learning myself for the very frist time (its like I am awake and alive )
I am also doing Pot gardening Ed and I usally have a huge garden but the last two years ! Its just Ed and I so I am just doing enough for Ed and I ! Our garden was to big and got to be to hard to catch up with