Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Well heres Lil Bella she is a Mini Doberman Pincher ...she is full of life and alot sassy not to mention she has sharp puppy teeth
I took a pic of her yesterday and she is no bigger then a regular remote for a TV lol ...this lil girl brings me so much joy and so much love its not funny ...My husband got her for me for Christmas ...now I can dress her all up and carry her in her bed She always get peoples eyes and then talking about her asking to pet her ...I am rather funny about people toiuching my puppy and dont let the kids plau with her at all Im afraid they will drop her

But thats not why I am here today I am here cause my heart hurts and my feelings are even worse off
I got up this am to a email from a sister that I dont get along with telling me how she is glad I am not coming and how everyone in my family hates me ...before I go to far into this let me tell you this is the sister that is a drink and ran out on my Mom while she was SICK almost dieing ...the is also the sister who my parents had to adopt her child when she was 15 cause she was hooked on HERION ..I usally dont put things out about my family cause I find it persoanal and I am very ASHAMED of my family
Anyways this sister went on and on on what a bad person I am ....I dont know if it is cause I am run down from Christmas or if it is cause I want my family to love me and want to spend time with me I just dont know ...all I know is for Christmas I wouldnt be doing anything to hurt anyone hell I wouldnt do nothing to hurt anyone now PERIOD
I am a In Hime Care Taker/ House Keeper and I have had the same clients for years I work for myself and have a wide varity of anmails from dogs to goats to cats to gunnie pigs to turtles and a bird
Truly I spendf my life and time trying to make others happy and see the smiles on thier face ...
So to be slapped with the email from my sister before my coffee ley alone wipe the sleep from my eyes is just alil bit harsh and hard to swollow
I have never got along with this sister she treats me as if she can control me then when she knows she cant and I still have a smile on my face things get harder
My Docter upped my meds cause things just seem impossable for me right now ...it is Christmas time for love fun family and laughter and my heart is broken and I am so sad right now - yes I know it is part of the Bi Polar but it dosnt make it any easier
Its almost a perfect Christmass here ...the snow is begining to fall and the house is all warm and snug from the wood stove I am to srart my baking and I just dont have it in me cause of the mean hateful things that my sister spewed out in a email to me ,,,you know I dont wish her no harm at all I just wish she take her drunk ass and lay it on someone else I mean what is it going to prove I am 1500 miles away from there (and plan on staying that way )
Pitas Out

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