Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Catch Up Time

Here I am again 

Life has a way of smacking you in the chops and bring you to your knees sometimes. Since I've last been here to blog we have indeed found out that my husband dose have lung cancer. The dx has changed our life forsure.

Since I have last blogged Ed has recived 35 radation treatments and 5 chemos husband is responding well to treatment his tumor has shrank 80% the size it started out being ( god is good ) ..if there is anyone that would like to keep up ( or if anyone is here ) you can at Eds In It To Win It - Team Werbe on FB. 

This whole cancer thing is such a hard thing to deal with not only for my husband but for me as well. I am Eds advocate I am the one who cares for Ed medically and I am the one who keeps the doctors abreast of all that's going on with Ed, as well as I get front center seat of watching what cancer dose and takes away from my husband ( not a fun thing ) 

But cancer has also brought some amazing beautiful things into our life's as well. Our family's have bound togther to help Ed fight his battle. Eds family is tighting up ! It is amazing ! My family my sister that I havnt talked to in years is talking to me and we are working on our realtionship ( I'm thrilled ) my Dad ( my rock and hero ) has been there in so many ways from late night phone calls to helping with our bills ( Ed can't work, I go to school but on summer break) but still have to be here to take care of Ed get him to the doctors and such.

On the other hand cancer has given us a bunch of strife as well. Ed ended up in the hospital with a horrid infection in his lungs that almost killed him :( . He is also having a hard time coming back from the radation. He is tired and can't easy without pain. I hate cancer I loath cancer. I wish we could just find a cure for all ailments. 

Ed and I have been looking into medical cannabus oil..we are having a hard go of finding it here in Oz. It is illegal to have it. This proves frustrating for Ed and I the medical cannabus oil can help Ed heal and cure him ...but it's illegal here in Kansas :( ..all eds doctors are on board and approve the use of it but can not perscribe it to Ed due to laws ...I've had a couple of people approach me with The oil to buy but it is pricey very pricey. 

For a 90 day supply it is 1800 dollars ...with Ed not working and on a set income and me going to school this is not feasible for us. There are people who claim that they have the oil and can send discreetly to me but I'm scared it's a undercover cop waiting to pounce on me and take me to jail or it is a scam and I could lose the money 

Things are hard we are barly making it. We are living on disconnect notices. We've had to have a person move in with us just to help us get caught up ( we are behind in all our bills ). Ed and I hate living with people it's just hard very hard. We are doing everything we can do to make it through. We both know that were not the only ones in this boat. It dosnt make it easier ! 

I will be returning back to school for the fall semester. I had to drop 3 classes this spring due to finding out Ed having cancer and him being so very ill. I'm scared to go to school but I have to trust in god and know that Eds going to be healed. I have to believe this with my whole heart and soul ( most times I can but sometimes I can't ). With me going to school it will bring in some much needed money to help catch us up. 

I'm also needing to get a drive going for Ed. Yes I must be able to help bring some money into get the medical cannabus oil to cure my husband of this cancer. It is non operapatal, the tumor can not be removed so we have to kill it and cure Ed. There is no inbetween at all. Where shooting for a cure, we want NED ( no evidance of disease)'s so hard though asking for help, knowing that I can't do this on my own :( ...I need help, Ed needs help millions of others need help ! We're not the only ones but it sure seems that way.

I am done writing for now but I will keep this lil corner going from here on out. I need the outlet, I need the breath. Even if no one reads this, at least I have a place to blow ya know? So I will be back ...that's a promiss! 

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